He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
