Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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