Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
