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no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
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