you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son