I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He kissed a someone with a penis
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want