Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.

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(301): Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy. http://tfl.nu/n68s

Replies (9) Good night (692) Bad night (2212)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

you can....by speaking....

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(401): i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook (1-401): you can....by speaking.... http://tfl.nu/42zu

Replies (16) Good night (2522) Bad night (2926)
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(214): View more from Texas

My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.

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(214): My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night. http://tfl.nu/bjzh

Replies (20) Good night (7042) Bad night (1230)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.

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(216): Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was. http://tfl.nu/ift5

Replies (16) Good night (6124) Bad night (1140)
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(801): View more from Utah

please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.

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(801): please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist. http://tfl.nu/t4io

Replies (26) Good night (9231) Bad night (1421)
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(330): View more from Ohio

just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.

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(330): just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people. http://tfl.nu/iaht

Replies (12) Good night (13750) Bad night (1443)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.

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(612): Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze. http://tfl.nu/em9r

Replies (6) Good night (2147) Bad night (1442)
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(316): View more from Kansas

You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.

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(316): You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath. http://tfl.nu/tem9

Replies (2) Good night (1742) Bad night (925)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Speaking is such a hard concept right now

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(913): Speaking is such a hard concept right now http://tfl.nu/ohqp

Replies (3) Good night (1649) Bad night (699)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???

(773): View more from Illinois

Found 2 Coors, problem solved.

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(773): Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that??? (773): Found 2 Coors, problem solved. http://tfl.nu/6q5w

Replies (11) Good night (1818) Bad night (581)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.

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(410): I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful. http://tfl.nu/rt55

Replies (5) Good night (576) Bad night (1894)
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(646): View more from New York

The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help

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(646): The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help http://tfl.nu/rosq

Replies (6) Good night (545) Bad night (1115)
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(874): View more from

I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!

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(874): I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night! http://tfl.nu/sa7u

Replies (8) Good night (1496) Bad night (580)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me

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(814): I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me http://tfl.nu/v541

Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (686)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...

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(262): Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life... http://tfl.nu/tvsz

Replies (3) Good night (299) Bad night (527)

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