I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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