I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
