I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
