I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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