break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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