its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
