I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She told me I should be a condom model.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need to calm my uterus...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
