I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
