Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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