we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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