I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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