what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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