Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
