I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
