Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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