he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
