I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
