She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize