So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
