I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
