so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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