I'm really into asian looking animals
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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