If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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