It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
