Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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