I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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