Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
