batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
