It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
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i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
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you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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