I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you inspire me to be a worse person
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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