Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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