6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize