i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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