yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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