I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
