i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
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Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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