mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
