i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
