I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I got her a Nickelback box set.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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