I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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