i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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