some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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