now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
