Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
