at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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