Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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