I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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