Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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