It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
