some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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