Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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