I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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