Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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