just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
